The Rowdiest Calm
by Asahina Banana
Summary: Hikari has finally returned from his 5 year-long hibernation. What are the actual feelings that he harbors deep inside his heart, that no one really knows? What are his real troubles? COMPLETED.


**Disclaimers: I do not own any of the characters from Nagi no Asukara. All of them belong to Mari Okada, P.A. Works and/or other affiliated parties.**

How long an hour is to someone is subjective. How long a century feels to everyone is no different. Each and every one of us has different concept and perception about time. I do not beg to differ—since in the current reality, I'm the odd one out. The only person who thinks that the day before yesterday is the Ofunehiki, in which it has passed for about five years now.

When I first woke up, the memories of that moment were still vibrant and fresh. But the last thing that etches in my mind—is the scenery of Manaka slipping away from my hands, being engulfed by the ocean. I recall screaming and yelling frantically for her and all those attempts I did to save her, but it is all nothing but worthless effort. Manaka has already been taken sacrifice by the sea god. Will I ever see her? I do not know. Will I ever laugh with her, play tricks on her, or even confess to her once more? I do not know, as I do not have the answer for that. In fact, no one does. _And no one ever will._

With that bitter sensation carved in my heart, I am forced by the world to snap out of my long, long dream and go back to my daily life. A daily life once so illuminating that I cherished so much, but am no longer there. Why? Because the people who made it happen are either here, or have changed drastically. Even Chisaki, that crybaby and dynamic girl has. She's now a full-grown, independent college student with a taller height than me. She's no longer that girl that confessed to me in front of our old school down below, but fortunately—her personality never changed. That person who always worries about 'change' always sticks in her, and I'm glad for that.

After being overwhelmed by almost everything that I'm supposed to know at the back of my hand, I have decided to take a walk by myself. I tried to just now, but I've been constantly meeting people. Closing my eyes constantly apparently is not good enough for me to cope with all of this, so I need a time on my own. Where I can get back and keep on track with this world I no longer know. Early in the morning after that day when 14-yeared old Miuna greets me with a 'beautified' version of the Ofunehiki flag I used, I took a stroll by myself to the pier. That pier where everything ends, and everything stops for me.

As I walk on the sidewalk heading towards the pier, the gush of cold air from the ocean greets me. There's a tingling sensation on my face, and that completely wakes me up a hundred percent. I smile at the sight of the ocean, as its presence has always been there, even until now. Sure, it might be covered up with salted snow, but it's 'there'. At least that's not another change I have to cope with.

I stare at the horizon at the end of the ocean, and again—the memories of that day resurface. The dark yet illuminated sky at that night. The blazing torches at the coast and the ocean floor that suddenly lights up with blue spirit fire, thanks to the blessing from Uroko-sama. The enthusiasm felt from both the people from the land and the sea after years of conflict. It was supposed to be a beautiful ceremony for everyone and for the newlyweds—my sister Akari and her fiancée Itaru. But then—

"NYAAAARGHH! That's way too depressing!" I screamed and punched my fist into the air. "Get yourself back together, Hikari! HAAARGGHH!"

Thank goodness no one have to see that. Even if they are, I wouldn't care. Pretty much. Yep. Without even me knowing it, the next minute I'm already at the edge of the pier. I comfortably sit on the edge of it and dunk my feet on an area that's not covered with ice. _Brr, the water's really cold. _

When I look at the clear water, the first thing I see is the reflection of my face. Yes, the face that remains the same even after five years. No youth has been wasted, no single wrinkle or maturity found in them. I shake my head furiously and look even deeper into the water—and suddenly know what I have to do.

I stretch my arms and take a deep breath. Then I look down at the water again and said, "Hey, Manaka. How are you doing? It's been five years since that day. I hope the sea god is treating you well down there, and enjoy whatever you're doing right now."

I pause for a moment because all the emotions are starting to overflow in me. I rub my eyes with the sleeve of my plain, red sweatshirt and muster up all my courage to keep on talking.

"So… yeah! Things have changed really drastically around here. Tsumugu's gotten all big and tall, and I'm sure you'll really like him now. He's a man now, y'know! Chisaki's no different either; she looks way more mature now. She also got taller, even taller than me! Yikes! Oh you know what's even more shocking? Miuna and Sayu are now fourteen, and they're now at my age! Can you believe that? They look so grown up! Ah, and, and, Akari now has a son! Isn't it awesome?"

The water is getting really cold at my feet, but I don't mind. I still need to talk to Manaka about things. I'm going to let all these piles of unsaid feelings in my heart, and I'm going to start anew. I promise I will.

"Hmm… What else… Oh, now everything is covered in salt snow. The surface is covered in them as well. Things have gotten pretty bad, I guess. And now, the others are still sleeping down in Shioshishio. What's even worse is I can't even visit them, since there's this huge current blocking me from doing so. And then…" I pause again for a while, while I'm thinking again about things to say.

"To be honest, I really can't cope with this massive change around me. It is way too overwhelming and deep in my heart—I still can't accept it. I still wish that the four of us are still together, talking about trivial things and making fun of each other. Being the only sea people in the school. Having nostalgic moments in our old school. Preparing for the Ofunehiki with everyone. Even that moment when we're 'fessing up to each other? Yeah, I missed that a lot. I, just… well…"

"—NYAARGGHH!" I scream at the top of my lungs, releasing all the pressure within. "I just can't stand it, Manaka! Especially… especially…"

My lips begin to tremble, but I still try to force this last one out. "…Especially when you're not here, Manaka. It has been five years and my feelings for you has not changed even one bit. The fact that I still love you and I really care about you is still within me. I just… It's really hard being awake now with you by my side, Manaka. I just can't imagine living the years to come without you here. Manaka, come back… Come home, please? Everyone's waiting for you, and I am too. Come back here, right now, Manaka…"

There are a few ripples on the water afterwards as I remain frozen on spot. At first it appears slowly, but now the ripples are overlapping each other in a much faster pace. As I sit there on the pier, a thought crosses my mind:

_Is the calm after the tides going to happen? If this is the kind of calm the sea god is giving me, then being the first one awake is nothing but a useless privilege. _

_Manaka, I need you. I really do. You are, after all—the center of my world._

_**Author's Notes:**_

I just watched Nagi no Asukara episode 15 and oh my goodness so much feels started to overflow within me. After watching I felt like I should write something and here it is, a oneshot from Hikari's POV. I think it's more like of his monologue after he woke up, since there's like no other character beside from him in this story.

Hikari had always been my favourite character since the beginning of this series, and I could relate to him in so many ways. So I thought it would be nice to explore the depths of his feelings after the 5-year hibernation in this quick monologue-ish fic. Since it's not too detailed in the anime, I wanted to utilize the world of literature and try to bring more of my favourite character.

Weelp I'm supposed to either be doing homework or the 4th chapter of 'Our Silent Vows', but sometimes when you just have that urge to write something else, you can't deny it, right? So uhh I hope you guys enjoy, and 'till then : D

(oh and yep Manaka really means 'in the center' /o/)


End file.
